Thinking about the word daddy or dad or father in relationship to God is an awkward thing at times for me. As I look over my childhood my natural father was not in the picture very much. It was not that he did not want to be, it was because my family member would not let him be there as he wanted to. This was hard for me to understand as a child but I got used to not seeing him except at holiday functions and an occasional visit or funeral. I remember taking my best friends dad an kind of making him my father too because I wanted someone to be a father figure to me (jealousy). I do not remember ever expressing this but it was there in my heart. I grew up going to church and hearing, learning, and teaching about God as a father but never really connected this deity, being, father to a personal level. God in the back of my mind was untouchable and he did not have time to be with someone like me. I again attributed God love for me to the love my physical father had for me and that was occasional.
As I grew up my biological father actually came to live with me when I was 17 years old and I remember the first thing he said to me in conversation "I am your dad but I need to know who you are so I want to be your friend. I can't teach you about being a man because you have become one. All I can do now is guide you to making smart choices." This statement helped our relationship to grow tremendously as we only had a year together before I was to leave and join the military. He never talked to me about God but would often talk to me about traveling the world and getting out of my hometown or else wind up like that people that should have left there but are now stuck. Wasting their lives drinking and squandering relationships in order to get high.
So at a cross road in life I had a chance to meet someone who would teach me about a relationship with God. Not like the one i grew up with, but a deep personal relationship with God and eventually the Father that I always wanted. I took a lot for me to shake the religious beliefs I had about God off and really make him my FATHER! I still struggle to talk with him at times because of my pride but just like my biological father he is always there even though I did not see him much. God my father has never left my side and he has always strove to be with me. I see that I have become much like my family members who did not want my biological father around when I am in sin or afraid to face something and I push God my Father away by not talking to him. And All he wants from me is to be my Friend! Today I can call God Daddy, Father, My Father in Heaven because I have faced the pain and the guilt that used to separate us from connecting. But just like any relationship I have to work hard at maintaining it.
To those who have been called, who are loved by God the Father and kept by Jesus Christ (Jude 1:1)
~Holla at me~
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Constant Use!
Heb 5:11 We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.
When I think of putting something to constant use I automatically think of how it is going to wear out. But what the scriptures are talking about here is putting Gods words in actions everyday and making sure that you never stop using them to help others to see his Goodness.
I am aware that God wants to use me for this purpose but there are times when I do not want to eat solid food and want to just drink some milk. Although I am somewhat lactose intolerant I want this to be my life especially when there are hard spiritual decisions to be made.
One of the hardest decisions that our family had to make recently was to remove the television viewing and video game playing to the weekends. OMG was this a hard thing to do but the payoff has been huge. It started off rocky but got better as I am finding a lot of extra time to do schoolwork, help my wife with thing around the house and spend time with each child individually. We did this to get rid of some of the worldly desires that lives in our home and to promote interaction with each other on a spiritual level.
God has done some amazing things in my life and even though I feel like I want to drink milk more than eating solid food It is that later I choose to do more often. I like it that way and so does my family!
~Holla at Me~
When I think of putting something to constant use I automatically think of how it is going to wear out. But what the scriptures are talking about here is putting Gods words in actions everyday and making sure that you never stop using them to help others to see his Goodness.
I am aware that God wants to use me for this purpose but there are times when I do not want to eat solid food and want to just drink some milk. Although I am somewhat lactose intolerant I want this to be my life especially when there are hard spiritual decisions to be made.
One of the hardest decisions that our family had to make recently was to remove the television viewing and video game playing to the weekends. OMG was this a hard thing to do but the payoff has been huge. It started off rocky but got better as I am finding a lot of extra time to do schoolwork, help my wife with thing around the house and spend time with each child individually. We did this to get rid of some of the worldly desires that lives in our home and to promote interaction with each other on a spiritual level.
God has done some amazing things in my life and even though I feel like I want to drink milk more than eating solid food It is that later I choose to do more often. I like it that way and so does my family!
~Holla at Me~
Monday, February 6, 2012
FLEEING THE DESIRES OF YOUTH!
It is very inspirational when you actually read the bible and get something out of it that you have seen before but did not take time to see. The following passage is one of those that I have read over and over but have not seen it until today:
2Ti 2:22 Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.
The first thing that hit me was to flee the desires of my youth! The question is what were the desires of my youth and are they still present with me today? Yes, they are still present and here are a few of them: Money- Always striving to make a lot of it. I used to write the words "Get Paid" on every notebook, paper, wall, cardboard, and folder I had in my possession and the same thoughts come to mind today as I look for ways of earning money to buy things like boats, cars, video games, tools, and an array of things that are not needed at this point in my life. The second desire from my youth is the desire for sexual stimulation all the time. This desire creeps into my life in various ways even when I feel that I am doing well spiritually. I used to put a lot of images and junk into my head as a young teen and they have burned into my mind and when I get afraid to face something I turn to sensuality to try and feel better. I am married and my wife is the desire of my heart but there are again times when these images seem more attractive and I have this battle going on inside me. I have to remain open with my wife and the brothers to help me stay pure and righteous in my marriage.
The third desire that goes on a lot is the desire for attention from others! This is a huge desire for me as I am looking to get praise from men instead of God! I have a constant fight going on inside over this desire because I love people and being around others that I want them to approve of me. So I can be overbearing at times with my loud voice and dominant stature that I might offend some. I want to align myself with the scriptures and change this character flaw.
The scripture also says "that we will come to our senses when we escape form the devil's trap". If we never take the time to acknowledge what our evil desires are how can we escape? Think of it this way....If you were trapped in a cave and there was a way out would you look for it or would you dismiss looking for the way out because you want someone else to look for you? I think the answer is no, you would look for the way out so that you can survive. Take this same attitude and apply it to your spiritual life and look for the evil desires and eradicate them!
~Holla at me~
2Ti 2:22 Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.
The first thing that hit me was to flee the desires of my youth! The question is what were the desires of my youth and are they still present with me today? Yes, they are still present and here are a few of them: Money- Always striving to make a lot of it. I used to write the words "Get Paid" on every notebook, paper, wall, cardboard, and folder I had in my possession and the same thoughts come to mind today as I look for ways of earning money to buy things like boats, cars, video games, tools, and an array of things that are not needed at this point in my life. The second desire from my youth is the desire for sexual stimulation all the time. This desire creeps into my life in various ways even when I feel that I am doing well spiritually. I used to put a lot of images and junk into my head as a young teen and they have burned into my mind and when I get afraid to face something I turn to sensuality to try and feel better. I am married and my wife is the desire of my heart but there are again times when these images seem more attractive and I have this battle going on inside me. I have to remain open with my wife and the brothers to help me stay pure and righteous in my marriage.
The third desire that goes on a lot is the desire for attention from others! This is a huge desire for me as I am looking to get praise from men instead of God! I have a constant fight going on inside over this desire because I love people and being around others that I want them to approve of me. So I can be overbearing at times with my loud voice and dominant stature that I might offend some. I want to align myself with the scriptures and change this character flaw.
The scripture also says "that we will come to our senses when we escape form the devil's trap". If we never take the time to acknowledge what our evil desires are how can we escape? Think of it this way....If you were trapped in a cave and there was a way out would you look for it or would you dismiss looking for the way out because you want someone else to look for you? I think the answer is no, you would look for the way out so that you can survive. Take this same attitude and apply it to your spiritual life and look for the evil desires and eradicate them!
~Holla at me~
Friday, February 3, 2012
Living for God
It has been too long since my last blog and frankly I need to get back to discussing the things that are important. God, Family, Freinds, Health, Life, and God!
Reading this morning in 1 Peter I recognized that there are a lot of things that I just do not understand about my walk with God. And the more I go through my day the more I see I do not honor him like I should. One of the things that struck me this morning was the following passages:
" 1Pe 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen."
Loving Deeply requires a lot of a person and if I do not know how to love the way God intended then how can I love someone deeply? So theses questions run aroung in my mind, Where do I learn this love? How do I transform the thoughts I have about love to match what the Bible say's love is and how will others know that I am trying to love them the way the bible teaches?
~Holla At Me~
Reading this morning in 1 Peter I recognized that there are a lot of things that I just do not understand about my walk with God. And the more I go through my day the more I see I do not honor him like I should. One of the things that struck me this morning was the following passages:
" 1Pe 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen."
Loving Deeply requires a lot of a person and if I do not know how to love the way God intended then how can I love someone deeply? So theses questions run aroung in my mind, Where do I learn this love? How do I transform the thoughts I have about love to match what the Bible say's love is and how will others know that I am trying to love them the way the bible teaches?
~Holla At Me~
Friday, February 5, 2010
No Fear
As I sit and think about the last year, I remember thinking that I would be working in no time. I was upset that I had been let go from the company I worked at but I felt that I knew enough people to land a new job quickly. Here I am one year and one month later still unemployed. God has truly taken care of the family and his protection is something that I never experienced like this before.
I have to say that the trials along the way have been difficult and more seem to come as I awake daily. There has not been a time during this journey that I have stopped believing, but my faith has had numerous low points. There were times when I did not have much fight in me and there were times that I felt invincible. Through it all the Bible remains the same and I had and still have to let the scriptures run my life.
Today in Matthew 8:28-34 (NCV) Jesus went to the other side of the lake and was met by two men with Demons living inside them (what a great movie?) The face of Jesus during this visit isn't described nor is his posture. One can not see his reaction visibly but by reading the passage one could see his courage. The men lived in a place people avoided going for whatever reason. No one traveled that path, everyone knew to go around this area but not Jesus. Why? How could he be so bold? How could he just go against the grain of society and visit a place where certain pain and possibly death live?
That is the power of knowing Jesus, His love compelled him to go into dangerous places! He faced the fears of many and his own? I do not recall a time in the scriptures where Jesus was afraid do you? I know he felt pain and sorrow and loneliness but never afraid. The scripture comes to mind that says "perfect love drives out fear." Was his love so perfect that he did not fear these two demon possessed men? The answer is YES!
This is the love he has for us as well, nothing is impossible for Jesus to do in our lives. No problem is too great or complex that he can not resolve. notice is did not say fix. Resolution requires action, and if we as people want to get well we have to do something. Jesus cast out the demons by telling them to "GO", this is what he asks us to do as well, GO!
If we are to leave fear behind we have to Go and face the demon and pray for Jesus to strengthen us! Our fight is not against flesh and blood but against the spiritual forces of this world.
~Talk to me~
I have to say that the trials along the way have been difficult and more seem to come as I awake daily. There has not been a time during this journey that I have stopped believing, but my faith has had numerous low points. There were times when I did not have much fight in me and there were times that I felt invincible. Through it all the Bible remains the same and I had and still have to let the scriptures run my life.
Today in Matthew 8:28-34 (NCV) Jesus went to the other side of the lake and was met by two men with Demons living inside them (what a great movie?) The face of Jesus during this visit isn't described nor is his posture. One can not see his reaction visibly but by reading the passage one could see his courage. The men lived in a place people avoided going for whatever reason. No one traveled that path, everyone knew to go around this area but not Jesus. Why? How could he be so bold? How could he just go against the grain of society and visit a place where certain pain and possibly death live?
That is the power of knowing Jesus, His love compelled him to go into dangerous places! He faced the fears of many and his own? I do not recall a time in the scriptures where Jesus was afraid do you? I know he felt pain and sorrow and loneliness but never afraid. The scripture comes to mind that says "perfect love drives out fear." Was his love so perfect that he did not fear these two demon possessed men? The answer is YES!
This is the love he has for us as well, nothing is impossible for Jesus to do in our lives. No problem is too great or complex that he can not resolve. notice is did not say fix. Resolution requires action, and if we as people want to get well we have to do something. Jesus cast out the demons by telling them to "GO", this is what he asks us to do as well, GO!
If we are to leave fear behind we have to Go and face the demon and pray for Jesus to strengthen us! Our fight is not against flesh and blood but against the spiritual forces of this world.
~Talk to me~
Thursday, June 4, 2009
What does God oppose?
Wow, it's been a long time coming, I have not penned my thoughts in months. Catching up on things in my life, I will give you a short list of areas God has shown me that I need to change. Beginning with the most recent; Pride, I realized last night as I was doing some homework for school that I look down on people whom "I Feel" are not as smart as me. This became apparent when I was reading another students response to a question and the spelling and grammatical errors they made were elementary. I thought to myself, "Why are they even taking college courses when they surely need elementary teaching?"
Course Joking is another area God is giving me lessons on. My wife and I were joking with each other and one of our children was the brunt of the jokes. The child took offense to the joking and got really angry and lashed out at me. The child also stated that we (my wife and I) made them feel like an outsider. That was really painful to hear, as the ones we love the most could be made to feel like they do not belong to the family that God has placed them in.
Humility and how to accept hospitality is a strange concept for me to enjoy. I have now been out of work for almost six months, and the disciples have been very grateful in helping to provide for the needs of my family. I often see that I have a hard time accepting this help because I am not humble enough to see where my family's needs really are. I was praying just two days ago and realized that when I do not let others help our family when we are in need, I am stopping them from their spiritual act of service.
James 4:6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."
~Talk to me~
Course Joking is another area God is giving me lessons on. My wife and I were joking with each other and one of our children was the brunt of the jokes. The child took offense to the joking and got really angry and lashed out at me. The child also stated that we (my wife and I) made them feel like an outsider. That was really painful to hear, as the ones we love the most could be made to feel like they do not belong to the family that God has placed them in.
Humility and how to accept hospitality is a strange concept for me to enjoy. I have now been out of work for almost six months, and the disciples have been very grateful in helping to provide for the needs of my family. I often see that I have a hard time accepting this help because I am not humble enough to see where my family's needs really are. I was praying just two days ago and realized that when I do not let others help our family when we are in need, I am stopping them from their spiritual act of service.
James 4:6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."
~Talk to me~
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Knowledge and insight
Wow, what a time it has been for me this month. I haven't written anything in a while due to wrong motives and a desire to people please. Also, since i started school on the 2nd of March this has added some more responsibility to my plate so I thank you for your patience.
So, here is the skinny on my emotions now and during this time of absence. I have been discouraged because I have never been out of work this long since joining the work force in 1988. I was having trouble believing in Gods promises during this time of testing. I was lying to myself about how I was doing because I wasn't taking time to examine myself. My bible reading was awesome but the heart connection was lacking and so was prayer.
I got some advice and was asked to do something to move Gods heart so I arranged a 10 hour prayer night that really changed things for my walk with God. A lot of folks came to support this effort and it was and continues to be very inspiring. since that night I have been on several job interviews and more continue to come. i also got open about specific sin's in my life that I felt would condemn me if God were to come and take me home for judgment.
I will share what that sin is in person if you are interested. Also my faith was strengthened because I don't have to carry that baggage around any longer. God has and is still working his magic in my heart and life. Thank you for praying for our family and continue to pray for me to see God's will for my life!
Philippians 1:9-11 give me new direction for my life!
~Talk to me~
So, here is the skinny on my emotions now and during this time of absence. I have been discouraged because I have never been out of work this long since joining the work force in 1988. I was having trouble believing in Gods promises during this time of testing. I was lying to myself about how I was doing because I wasn't taking time to examine myself. My bible reading was awesome but the heart connection was lacking and so was prayer.
I got some advice and was asked to do something to move Gods heart so I arranged a 10 hour prayer night that really changed things for my walk with God. A lot of folks came to support this effort and it was and continues to be very inspiring. since that night I have been on several job interviews and more continue to come. i also got open about specific sin's in my life that I felt would condemn me if God were to come and take me home for judgment.
I will share what that sin is in person if you are interested. Also my faith was strengthened because I don't have to carry that baggage around any longer. God has and is still working his magic in my heart and life. Thank you for praying for our family and continue to pray for me to see God's will for my life!
Philippians 1:9-11 give me new direction for my life!
~Talk to me~
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